Anxious Mama…Sick Baby Girl

Are you a mom who worries constantly when their child is sick? I am and my anxiety was at an all time high late last night.

Tonight my husband finished work and is now spending some quality time with our daughter. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without him. He is giving me some much needed time to write and take a bit of a breather. If you are wondering, ‘Daniela why doesn’t he help you throughout the day?’. Well ladies and possibly some gentlemen, our agreement is that I take care of her while he works and he does more of the night shift. To be honest, we just help each other out when necessary, day or night, whenever one of us needs a bit of a break/do chores.

Now let me explain, all three of us had got sick in early December, which was a whirlwind experience. We believe it was the new COVID-19 variant, but we don’t test for COVID-19 any more, so your guess is as good as ours. My husband and I didn’t really care about ourselves while we were sick, we were worried about our daughter. I more so than him. He kept telling me, ‘She is a fighter, she will make it through just fine. If I were worried, you would know.’ and though I believed he was right, I am naturally an anxious person. So, worry set in and it peaked when she got a fever.

To the children’s hospital we went and we instantly got into a room. Though the wait was much shorter then most, it was still 4 hours. Her lungs were clear, they sucked out a ton of mucus from her nasal passages and took a nasal swab (which I never heard back about). They instructed us to look for certain signs of distress and how to keep her fever down. The following day her fever dropped. Slowly, but surely she got a little better every day. We went to a children’s urgent care to have her lungs checked the following week and still clear. Fast forward to about a week before Christmas, she was pretty much almost 100%. Almost.

Well, it seems we were wrong. She has now developed this nasty bark of a cough that keeps waking her up from sleep. Well of course, I’m upset and worried that my daughter is going through this. I thought we were in the clear, but I was insanely mistaken.

It is one of the hardest things to watch my child being sick and I feel helpless to her. So last night, my mind was racing and well I made the mistake of jumping online and reading/You-tubing what it could potentially be. You can imagine what I’d come across, all horrible, some informative and an overwhelming array of different possibilities. To say the least, it made my anxiety spike and I was up all night. I didn’t climb into bed until 5:30-6 this morning.

Our daughter woke up as soon as I crawled into bed; yes we co-sleep with her as she is not a fan of her bassinet AT ALL. My husband was kind enough to get her back to sleep, though it took almost an hour and a half to do so. I didn’t end up getting much sleep, since she woke up around 9-9:30 AM. Hungry and that bloody cough just bothers the shit out of her. My husband took her for a bit, but he had started his work day already so, mommy is on duty!

She had a bit of a tough day; a little restless but still had her moments of happiness. I did take her for a walk, just around the block which seemed to make her happy and she was able to get at least a 45 minute nap in. Small victory but still a victory! However, when we got back to the house there was no putting her back to sleep. I quickly did the dishes and let the dog out as she napped in the stroller, though she woke up shortly after I started. My husband ran up to grab her while I finished up and let the dog inside. I went and took over caring for her but no dice. She was not having any of the nap nonsense from me. My husband suggested I nap with her and it worked for a very VERY short time, and then she was up again. He let me sleep, to catch up, and put her back to bed. An hour and a half is all she managed. Oh and I forgot to mention, she now has a bit of a runny nose, coughing up clear mucus and had a low grade fever. My poor baby girl. Do you sense my sadness/anxiety?

Needless to say, we will be taking her to the walk-in clinic at our doctor’s office tomorrow night. I’m hoping they will do a nasal swab, check her lungs (which I am most concerned about), her throat and just do a bit of a check-up on her. On the upside; her appetite is still good, which means no dehydration, plenty of wet diapers. Her mood fluctuates but for the most part still my smiley girl. I do think her breathing is a touch laboured, but I don’t know. I’m probably just being a spaz.

It’s nearly 11 PM and I hear a very fussy/overtired baby girl in my bedroom. Time to go join him in soothing her. I’ll keep you posted on what happens with her.

Ciao!