I’ve been meaning to write this post since Sunday, but I was so annoyed that I just couldn’t do it the day it happened. And since Valeria is still asleep, I can collect my thoughts and write this before she gets up.
It’s hard enough to go to a commercial gym when your overweight, it’s even harder after you return or decide to join after having a baby. Especially if you aren’t a regular. But it’s not that, joining a gym is hard, why? Because of the fear of being judged.
Unfortunately, there is this weird culture with commercial gyms and I find it’s even worse at the gym we attend because it’s an extremely low monthly fee. Now, if you are regular gym attendee, you may have seen this culture yourself but this is just my observation. So here it goes…
You generally see these types of people:
- The New Years Resolutioners – They usually will start in January and will hit the gym hard and by March, you don’t see them any more. They also tend to look a bit lost and don’t know what to do in the gym. I say good for you for making that goal! The first step was getting in there, but don’t burn out, you can do this.
- Gym Bros – These guys are usually super elitist, will “belittle” friends or acquaintances to make themselves feel better. But their egos are bigger than their muscles most the time. I can’t stand these guys
- Gym Thots – These girls wear little clothing which demands attention from dudes, do little working out and often stand around with their friends trying to nab a gym guy. Or on the other side of it, they wear little clothing and get annoyed when dudes stare, sometimes calling them out for it. Which in turn, causes men not to want to help them when they get into trouble while working out. There are videos all over the internet regarding this. Girls….you are so much better then this!
- The Zoomers – This is the younger generation, which like to have one earbud in while they stand around machines or benches, occupying equipment and not actually using it. Often chatting in groups, taking extremely long rests for no reason, on their phones, admiring their muscles in the mirrors or taking pictures. Now granted some actually workout, so kudos to those that do.
- The Judgers – These people are usually thin or somewhat in shape, but like to go on the treadmill or elliptical and judge with their friend or partner. You can tell they are doing it because they aren’t stealthy at all. We encountered this Sunday.
- The Regulars – These ladies and gents that are there to workout. If they see you struggling they will spot you, no questions asked or will help you in some way. Will give you a nod or smile if they see you on a regular basis. They usually have a giant water bottle, headphones and will bring things to assist them when working out (weighted belts, gloves, chalk, lifting belt, etc). They are very routined, scheduled, know exactly what they are doing and otherwise keep to themselves. They never judge and are always nice people.
- The Weight Slammers – These guys and yes, it’s usually guys I have to say, are attention seekers. At least that’s how I see them. They lift or attempt to lift extremely heavy weights, only to slam them down when they finish a rep. They want to catch attention to show they can lift. Unfortunately, it’s loud, annoying and can potentially be unsafe. Often machines get damaged because of these guys. And the fact that people become bothered by the slamming. I really hate the noise.
- The Muscle Marinaras – It’s what I call them. They are usually on some kind of steroid (trust me you can tell), they only lift free weights and stare at their muscles in the mirror whenever they lift or when they are resting. You also hear them talking about “Look how jacked I am bro!”
I think that’s it, I think I got the key ones here and yes you might be thinking “Well, aren’t you judging?” To a degree, I guess I am, but I’m judged all the time in a place where there should be absolutely no judgment because I’m overweight and trying to get healthy. Also the fact that I’m a girl, lifting weights and sometimes doing lifts that “only guys” do. But I also try to be positive when I’m there, smiling at people who look a bit lost, or another plus size person trying to get healthy. But there are times I put on my “bitch face” and just work out with my husband, trying to go quickly to get back to my daughter. Those are my no nonsense moods.
Now, as my husband mentioned in his post yesterday, he is in training for his fight in April and very focused on his cardio. So, on Sunday he was running on the treadmill on an incline and he does burst sprints. Which means he runs extremely fast for a short period of time, not sure how he does it because I can’t but it’s impressive. I had just finished on the elliptical and was waiting in front of his machine for him to finish. Now on Sunday, he had worked out three times that day, so when we went to the gym he was exhausted and giving it every last bit of what he had, and he was making a bit of noise when he ran. A spanish couple (The Judgers) were on treadmills two down from his. You could tell they were talking about him because they kept looking over and laughing, and the guy even leaned over to see what speed he was running. I shot the girl a very nasty look, twice might I add and she shut up quickly. Her partner just kept laughing. I was about to go over to confront them when my husband finished and we left. I told him what had happened when we were at the car. He was as annoyed as I was.
Gyms are suppose to be judgment free zones, and people like that, well they make it so others get discouraged which than never come back or fear even going to a gym to begin with. It’s so wrong and I hate it! Our society is bad enough as it is outside of that environment, and now you bring it in there? What are you accomplishing making fun of someone else? You have no idea what someone is going through or why they are training; they could be an athlete or this is their stress reliever. But the audacity that they sat there and blatantly judged him, it’s so absurd.
I told my husband eventually when Valeria is a bit older and when I’m in a bit better shape, I want to find a different gym. I’m tired of dealing with this toxic environment and I know you will find it to a degree in all gyms, but the ones you need to pay a bit more, you won’t find it as much. Those people have more of The Regular crowd.
Can we as a gym society stop all this toxic behaviour and actually encourage each other please. That would be fantastic. I’m even going to try to do better.
End of rant.
Ciao!

You described everyone perfectly! I stay away from gyms if I can. Being in Florida with such great weather, I prefer to exercise outside.
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Oh I wish! You are so fortunate to live in Florida with all that beautiful weather, minus hurricane season, but I would be doing the exact same thing as you. Enjoy it for me please! It’s so gloomy here in Canada lol
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Enjoy Canada for me! It looks beautiful from here!
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Depends on where you are in Canada, but it’s no bad in the summer lol
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I could have written this myself. I’ve been to many different gyms over the years and I always quit because I feel like people are looking at me, thinking “look at the fatty trying”. Some of it is probably in my head but I always felt like I don’t belong in the gym. I used to go to hydro gymnastics with a bunch of pensioners and it was the best, I felt super comfortable with them. No judgment, super nice and encouraging, always in a good mood.
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I find woman who do classes like hydro gymnastics, even Yoga are far friendlier and understanding that you are there to stay healthy or whatever your reasoning. I did hydro gymnastics when I was pregnant, it was so amazing for my joints, it was calming and fun. Valeria would kick the whole time haha
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Wow, never thought so deep about the gym culture. Thanks for sharing! I am mostly a yoga or pilates person so I go to these smaller studios. But, sounds tough out there! Lots of love to you, Mama! ❤
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Thank you! Yes, I tried Yoga once, but it wasn’t for me personally. I did find the people and instructor very warm and welcoming when I went though. But it’s definitely a different culture. Lots of love and positive vibes your way too Curiosity!! ❤
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