Posted in Daily Life as a Parent

How Do They Do It?!

Posted on by Mama

I’m going to be real here for a moment so bare with me readers as I dive in. I am by no means a perfect mom, wife or woman for that matter. But here is my dilemma and hopefully I can get a few solutions in the comments.

I have been struggling to get any kind of housework done; meaning cleaning, cooking/baking, organizing, re-arranging, etc. And though I have gotten rid of all social media, I do still go on Youtube. So I see these women on Youtube with their babies in that cloth sling thing (which I have one, Valeria hates it and it’s kind of annoying to be honest) and just running around cooking and cleaning while their baby just hangs out. I don’t have that luxury. Valeria is getting to the point where she wants to move all the time, her naps have been short and I’m exhausted. The only thing I ever really get done is laundry and I do it at night; into the washer, into the dryer and sort/fold late at night. Only to put them away in the morning.

So how do I manage? Do I just stay up later at night and get what I need to done? I know social media is….well…you know. They show only the good parts generally and never the true reality. But how do normal mom’s handle this?

I have been feeling really crappy about myself, like I’m failing as a wife and mother because of it. And I know in actuality I’m not, it’s just a momentary feeling. Hmm, maybe that’s my anxiety speaking more so than anything.

I used to keep a clean and organized living space, but now I’m all out of sorts. And yes, I prepared myself to an extent when I got pregnant, but this just seems ridiculous.

If you have any suggestions of how you handle the housework while having a kid or kids, please let me know in the comments. I feel like I can never get anything done unless it’s late at night.

Desperate mama here. HELP!

Ciao!

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Author:

I'm 35 years old and new to motherhood. I'm a creative by nature and love working with my hands. Sarcastic on a daily basis and a bit of a perfectionist. Love being out in nature and try to be healthy the best that I can. Also, toss in a bit of anxiety and you've got me! Can't reveal everything about me in this section, so come along for the roller coaster ride and find out more! Check out my photography at https://www.instagram.com/dlightfulsnapshots/

12 thoughts on “How Do They Do It?!”

  1. This probably won’t help but it will get done when it gets done. I am an everything clean, organized and in it’s place person BUT that mess, dirt, disorganization whatever you are stressing about will be there when you get around to it, no one else is going to do it. right? 🙂 🙂 🙂 I feel the more I stress over something the more anxious I get and that which I am stressing over gets drawn out. When My son was a baby, I worked, came home took care of him and the rest got done when it got done. You will get into your groove, everything will start flowing. What I did was as soon as my son fell asleep I would commit to 20 minutes of straightening, cleaning, whatever I felt needed to be done and that was it! Soon, it all just started to fall into place. My daughter in law went through this and when she said to me the house was so dirty, she didn’t even want me to come over because I keep everything so perfect. My reply was “so? I don’t have a baby, not recovering from having one either.” and repeated to her what I just told you. Putting the extra feeling on yourself of being a crappy this and that will certainly not get any of that stuff done either 🙂 🙂 🙂 Be kind to yourself, you are the only you that you have. The dust will wait around for you, I promise 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Margaret and you are so right. I do like the dedicating 20 minutes to just tidying up or whatever, I will put that into practice I think. That was helpful and it is my anxiety getting the best of me and I really need to stop stressing. I will get my groove back like you said, it’s just going to take time, which I really need to keep reminding myself. Your daughter-in-law is very fortunate to have you, you seem like such a sweet and caring person ❤ I'm really glad to have your wise words, support and just being able to chat with you!

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      1. Thank you for your very kind words 🙂 🙂 and I LOL at sweet, I don’t know about that but I do care and never want to see someone struggle about things that I feel are truly beyond your control. And I used 20 minutes but you could do 5, 10, 15, whatever works. I equate it to going to the gym 🙂 You do what you can to begin with and work your way up 🙂

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      2. Oh I like that analogy! I think I’m going to attempt 20 minutes and see how it goes, if I need to drop it down I will, but like you pretty much said….you do what you can and you gotta start somewhere. Thank you so much Margaret ❤

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  2. Have you tried a swing? One of those that rocks the baby while you do other things? It works for Olívia sometimes. She doesn’t always want to be there but she mostly likes it. With Dalila, nothing really worked lol I’d get stuff done when my husband was around. It will get better once she can crawl or walk and follow you around the house, that’s when I started being able to get anything done. As for those moms, I don’t understand it either. It’s even dangerous to cook while baby wearing so I wouldn’t do it. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can and that you’re a great mom. In a few years, you won’t remember how clean and tidy the house was, you’ll remember the time you spent cuddling Valeria so don’t worry too much about the housework. Now I’m going to try to take my own advice too 😂

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    1. Thank you Cheila, that means more than you even realize! We have a swing and I keep it near the kitchen, but like Olívia, it only works sometimes. Until she gets bored and wails to get out of it. I need to start utilizing the time when my husband has her, but Margaret also made a good point in the comments with taking 20 minutes a day just to tidy or clean something. But you are right, I need to stop worrying so much, my anxiety doesn’t need to be elevated any more and social media outlets are the devil! lol I could never cook with Valeria, she would try to touch everything if she was in one of those slings….that’s all I need is a burnt little hand!

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      2. Oh I know! I definitely regret some of the baby gear purchases that were hardly or ever even used sadly. Valeria gets bored fast and she is too independent to be strapped in for too long lol

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  3. Oh …. I am getting very comfortable with the toys everywhere situation and I just ignore it if I have enough space to walk around 😂

    My main focus is on the daily things we need like cooking washing dishes, kid’s bath and playtime.
    I am okay with the laundry pile too! My husband helps me with the washing but the folding keeps on pending until it’s almost empty again 😀

    You are not alone in this situation for sure if that makes anything easy for you 😊

    Weekly once I try to put things back in its place … but it’s gets unorganized in no time 😀

    I started listing things that need to be taken care on a notebook. I tick them when I am done and it gives a little satisfaction. If I didn’t finish it . That’s okay too… I add it as the first thing to do for next day… ! Little things to make tasks easier.
    Hope this helps! 🤗

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    1. Oh that is so nice to hear I am not the only one lol I really do need to take a page out of your book and be kinder to myself and the notebook idea is wonderful. I do like little check lists to work off of. Thank you for sharing that it’s okay to be okay with the mess because I was freaking out about it!

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