Today I’m going to discuss a topic I’ve kind of been putting off, just because I really didn’t want to relive the events again. But I think it’s something that should have a light shone on it; not only for me, but for all women and even men – young, old, plus size and everything in-between.
It is no surprise that I’m plus size and being a plus size mama, well I sometimes get treated differently by medical professionals. This situation, was no exception and I’ve learned to deal with it.
My husband and I decided to try a clinic closer to our home since it was 5 minutes away, a new x-ray facility and it would be easier for us to bring Valeria back and forth when I had appointments. So I had my first ultrasound appointment for pregnancy dating on Dec 2, 2024, and I went in to the clinic very positive, my husband and Valeria were in good spirits as well. It was the first time we were going to see the baby. The receptionist who I was speaking to for check-in was so professional, kind and helpful. I take a seat and wait my turn, which thankfully wasn’t a long one because I had an extremely full bladder. Can’t say I missed filling my bladder to the brim before an ultrasound, it really sucks!
I was guided in by the ultrasound technician, a young girl, and I thought oh great! But when we get in the room, there is an older and miserable looking woman sitting on a stool near the counter. The young girl let’s me know that she is a student, she was here to learn and if it was okay for her to conduct the ultrasound with the supervision of the technician. I am always okay with students, they need their hands on hours to complete their programs, so why not! I was instructed to lay on the bed and pull my pants a little lower. She squirts the cold ultrasound gel on my tummy, turns the monitor away from me and begins. I’m laying there and everyone is silent; the older technician sits there and scrutinized what the student is doing, the student is doing her very best and I’m laying on the bed in uncomfortable silence. The only sound you heard from the the clacking of the keyboard and the humming of the machine. I awkwardly asked if everything was okay with the baby and I got a “Yup” from the older technician. She eventually took over for the student near the end, clicking a couple keys on the monitor keyboard and then turns to me to ask “Do you have anyone with you?”
Oh did I mention that they refused to let my husband in? We didn’t have that issue at the other clinic when I had Valeria.
I responded “Yes, my husband and daughter.”
“What’s his name?”
“Anthony.”
She proceeded to slide the door open to the room and walked out to go and get him. She came back a few minutes later and in a rude tone “Stand in the corner.” She slightly turned the monitor so we could see the baby, she showed us the baby for maybe a minute “Here is the heart…..here is the hand….there is the feet…” and me and my husband looked at each other and I said “Are we going to hear the heart beat?”
“No, it’s an ultrasound machine, it only shows images.”
My husband, “At the other X-ray clinic we went to, we were able to hear the heart beat. So, can we know the beats per minute.”
“No, talk to your health care provider.”
She turns the monitor, shuts it off and turns back to me with a towel and instructs me to clean up and place the towel in the basket. She told my husband to leave and head back to the waiting room and then told me that my photos were on my purse and jacket. She slid the door open and waited in the hall. She showed me where the bathroom was, but not before telling me that “Next time drink more water…” I responded, “I drank the necessary amount.” and I stated this in a very irritated tone. “Well, drink more than. Your bladder wasn’t full.” And she walked away. I was dumbfounded by the blatant disrespect and horrid bedside manner.
I finished my business and went back to the reception area to speak to the receptionist for my next appointment. I figured, okay maybe it was a one off and I’ll give this place another chance. The receptionists are literally the clinics saving grace, let me state that now.
Next ultrasound – Dec. 24, 2024
Again, super excited to see the baby and this ultrasound was very important. It was the ultrasound that accompanies blood work to let us know if the baby has down-syndrome, etc. Essentially making sure that the baby is healthy and the neck thickness is normal. This ultrasound always makes me nervous, even with Valeria I was terrified.
So again, I walk in to the clinic very positive, my husband and daughter right behind me. I check-in and have a seat. While we’re waiting, I let my husband know that I really hope I don’t get that same technician. My name gets called and there she is, standing at the doorway and dread just takes over my whole body. I fake a smile and say hello, following her into the same room as the first appointment. She has a miserable demeanor again and instructs me to set my things down and lay on the bed.
I do as instructed, pull down my pants off my belly, and I watch her turn the monitor away from me and just squirts the cold ultrasound gel on my belly. Now….if you’ve had children, than you know that the baby isn’t exactly a giant at 13 weeks. So the ultrasound usually sticks to the pelvis or under the belly button. My bladder was full and she was pressing with the ultrasound wand really hard, she wouldn’t talk to me and I was wincing in discomfort. After 10 minutes, she instructed me to turn on my side toward the window and again, began to use the wand, pressing extremely hard and after a minute or two, instructed me to lay back on to my back. I was wincing and uncomfortable as she proceeded, she was being forceful the entire appointment. At one point I asked again, “Is the baby okay??”
“Yes, fine.” and she proceeded to move the wand toward my belly button and then above. Which I could not understand why she was even doing that. My uterus isn’t the size of an elephant, like what were you doing?! She suddenly stopped after 20 minutes, asked if anyone was with me. I informed her my husband and daughter. “You are going to have to re-book, I couldn’t get what I needed. So you can’t proceed with the blood work.” She than left the room to get my husband and daughter from the waiting room. I had to hold back the tears, I was so upset and felt so disrespected the whole time.
She brought them into the room and rudely instructed him to stand in the corner again. She placed the wand forcefully on my belly once more, “There is the heart…” she showed us the beating heart for like 10 seconds, and than showed us the baby, “Here is your baby…” She showed us the baby for another 10 to 15 seconds and than turned the monitor away. My husband again “Can we not hear the heartbeat? Or what are the beats per minute?” “No, this is only an imaging machine and speak to your health care provider.”
She proceeded to do the same routine she had the first appointment; towel, clean up, ushered Anthony out, let me know my photos are on my purse and to inform me that the bathroom is down the hall to the right and to re-book at reception. I went through the motions, holding back my emotions the best I could. After the restroom stop, I went to reception. The receptionist was informed by the technician about the re-book, and I informed her I will get back to her. Trying to be extremely polite, since they didn’t deserve to take the brunt of my emotions.
We walked out to the car and I was an emotional wreck and as soon as I sat in the car, that was it. I was so upset I started to cry and told my husband I refuse to go back there. I cried when I got home too.
A few days later, I left a message for my midwife. I didn’t want to disrupt her during the holidays and spoke to her about going back to the old ultrasound clinic. I informed her of everything that happened and she put things in motion. I couldn’t do another ultrasound for this specific procedure/information, the clinic booked it too late in the necessary time frame, so I had to do more in-depth blood work instead. She also proceeded to send in an ultrasound requisition to the old clinic I used to go to and was working with them to get me a date in time for the Anatomy ultrasound.
I proceeded to cancel all future appointments with the horrible clinic, and now have an appointment for February 12th for my baby’s anatomy ultrasound/gender. Thank goodness we were able to get back in with the old clinic.
I should have put a complaint in and I feel like it’s just too late now, but I DO NOT recommend that clinic and I informed my midwife not to recommend that clinic to anyone, even if they are interested in going there. She agreed and was completely on my side. She couldn’t understand what that technician was doing.
Needless to say, not my favourite moments during this pregnancy and I just hoping the next appointment goes much better. Frankly, I hope the rest of my pregnancy goes much better. Also, I should have stood up for myself right away and made the complaint that day. I was just so emotional and taken back by the fact this was all happening to me. I don’t normally let those things slip, but that day….I did.
All I have to say is, advocate for yourself and speak up if you are uncomfortable with a medical professional, whether you are pregnant or not. You should never be made to feel disrespected or uncomfortable.
Hopefully this helped someone out there and I really hope this doesn’t happen to any one else.
Can we please work on better bedside manner? Sigh.
Ciao!
Mama on the Move 
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